《幸福的girl 》

《幸福的girl 》

第一次在校园遇见你

没想到我们会变成more than friends

当时的我

刚心碎的我

只以为lucky 找到了个好朋友

幸福是知道有人在想你

幸福是知道有人盼望着遇见你

幸福是有个怀里给你藏在

幸福的girl 就是有了你

经过了so many 风风雨雨

我已没有力气去爱了

但渐渐的

不知不觉中

我已慢慢的爱上了你

幸福是知道有人在想你

幸福是有人永远的陪伴着你

幸福是有个怀里给你藏在

幸福的girl 就是有了你

幸福是知道有人在想你

幸福是有人永远的陪伴着你

幸福是有个怀里给你藏在

幸福的girl 就是有了你

幸福的girl 就是我

qi.quan

Joshua and Jane - written on 11dec06

it's a fictional story jumbled from the true love stories of 3 girls. :)

Joshua and Jane met each other in school at the beginning of the new school term through some activities together as well as through common friends. Subsequently, they spent more and more time together and got to know each other better as friends.

Joshua started liking Jane as more than friends. He was not sure if Jane felt the same way towards him. Jane was a sociable girl and had a few close guy friends. Was Joshua just one of those close guy friends she had?

As they were close friends, there was nothing wrong with them going out on single dates. And this happened pretty often as well. Joshua and Jane hung out together pretty often and sometimes there would even be a little tinge of physical intimacy between them.

This was when Jane broke the news to him. Jane just got attached. Joshua congratulated her and asked her about her new boyfriend. He responded like any close friend would, the only difference was that he did not really mean it. He was upset. He said he was happy for her, but deep down, he knew it was a lie.

Joshua and Jane continued being close for a while. Joshua would be there to listen to Jane when she had problems. To Joshua, they were connected in the heart as more than close friends. Did Jane think the same way too? She calls him to chat on the phone, sends him smses and allows him to enter into her life.

Joshua felt that he could no longer behave in this way. She was attached after all. And he did like her a lot. He decided to take a step back out of her life. He did not tell her about his decision. He just did it. He stopped going out with her, always giving excuses that he was busy. Jane of course felt that Joshua has strayed away. This was when Jane realized that she missed him. Jane missed Joshua.

Now, Jane had some thinking to do. She was attached, but seemed to have fallen for someone else. She was in a relationship and therefore is responsible for that relationship. She did not try to win Joshua back as a friend. She knew now that the important thing was to recollect her feelings and thoughts. Was there something wrong with her relationship now? Can it be solved? Would she and her boyfriend have a future? If there was no future, a break-up would be inevitable. If there was still hope, she would want to continue working things out with her boyfriend. It was a good thing that Joshua had taken a step back. She would not have to deal with feelings for him as she deals with her relationship.

Being the responsible girl she was, though she knew there was no future in the relationship, she wanted to continue to try to work out the relationship with her boyfriend. All these while, though she still sees Joshua at school activities and classes, she does not talk to him as much and they do not spend time together alone anymore. Still, she had the security that If she were to run to Joshua in tears one day, he would be there to provide her with a shoulder to cry on.

Finally, something happened that assured Jane that her boyfriend was not the one for her. Other than no longer being happy when they were going out together, she felt that he did not give her security. He was not there for her when she needed him most. They finally ended their long-strained relationship. Jane was now single. But was she ready for another relationship?

She did not call Joshua straightaway to inform him of her break-up. Though she needed someone to talk to and would very much love to talk to him, she felt that she needed to handle this on her own.

Subsequently, Jane asked Joshua out. They started to go out again. They started to talk more again. They started to rekindle the friendship that they have put on hold for a period of time. Joshua found out that Jane has broken up with her boyfriend. Jane told him that she might not be ready for another relationship. Joshua told her that he was not in a rush.

They got to knew each other better as friends. They knew of each other's feelings. But the time was just not right yet. Good things come to those who wait. They went out on single dates, on group dates, as friends. Though each knew that the other was someone special, they were just friends, just as they had been less than a year ago when they first met.

Now, Joshua and Jane are happily together. 6 months into their official relationship, Joshua proposed. And, it is a happy ending.

qi.quan

unconditional love

My boyfriend thanked me for my unconditional love. He said "if I want to know the meaning of Unconditional love, I should just learn from you and that'll be enough." No need for frilly words. A simple appreciation says it all. On the other hand, without him coming into my life, I would not have known what it was like to love like that.

cq

[Acceptance]

I sit in the darken room. Adrian has just left me. This time will be for good. You don’t understand, they cannot accept you. The words rang in my ears. Do you? Do you Addy? Is it you who cannot accept me? I can’t get the answers because you don’t want to be here anymore. I can’t get the answers because you don’t want to be with me anymore. Do you Addy?

**

The sun shines brightly, the late night had left you oblivious to the strong rays. You barely stir in your sleep, as I watch over you. I feel like your guardian angel. Watching you sleep. Every breath you take in, I feel life within you, and every breath you exhale, I feel you within me. I reach out to touch your skin, to ruffle your hair. A soft sigh escapes your lips. You sleep peacefully. You’ve said your part the night before. Yet I can’t help but worry. I can’t sleep.

You told me that it was all a mistake; you came crying to me, telling me that you want this to work. Forgive me, forgive me for making such a hasty decision, I love you. Music to my ears. I was a fool. I believed you. I wanted this so bad. Inside, I know I will crumble without you. I wanted to reject you. I wanted to inflict the pain you caused me back to you. But I couldn’t. With open arms, I took you back in. Not only because of what you said. But because I needed you too.

**

Old faces scorn at us. They shake their heads in disapproval. You held on my hand tightly. We can do this together, you declare proudly. What matters is what you feel for me and how I feel for you. Friends tell me, they won’t accept you. A white girl and a yellow skinned boy. But I believed in you. You said time will wear down their doggedness. I cannot sacrifice my future for them, my future is with you, it is ours to achieve. I look back; I ridicule myself for being so foolish, because I believed in you.

I am an alien in this country. They will never accept me. But you did. You held me up when I was down. And you loved me. At least you said you did. Why did you have to lie?

**

The second time came, as suddenly as before. Like a murderer’s axe that swiftly went for his victim’s neck, there was no warning to what you did to me. I'm sorry, I cannot give up my family for you. My heart fell. The dreams shattered. Just the day before we were building dreams. It is only now then I realized that it was nothing but a screen of smoke. How can you bear to do this to me? My throat went dry, my limbs turned cold. It was final. Why? Why, Adrian? Why love me, leave me, then hurt me? Is love that cheap an object?

I start to lose my faith in love. It cannot withstand anything. His parents’ love is not great enough to accept me. And his love for me, I spat disdainfully, is nothing but poison. Seeping through my veins, slowly overpowering me, then wanting my life.

I cheapen myself in hope of something in return. I begged. Don’t walk away. Don’t. I pled. And I cried. You had a stone for your heart. I saw the unshed tears in your eyes. In Asia, it is important that a man’s tears are shed only for his country, you once told me. But now you’ve given up the kingdom we had. You have given up the Queen you once fought valiantly for. Yet, you do not allow any drop of tear to betray the confusion you feel. Please, think it through, I begged without shame. You shook your head. You don’t understand, they cannot accept you.

**

Months went by. I feel like I’ve been trapped underwater. I move with no sense of urgency. I finally feel strong enough to face the unfriendly faces outside. I wait for a bus. Like a lost soul waiting to be picked up. The cool breeze kisses my cheek. A sight beholds me. Suddenly my eyes water again. At the corner of my eye, I see Adrian. I want to call out to him. Someone beats me to it. She has the same black hair, the same yellow skin. So this is what they mean by acceptance. Possessed, my eyes follow the couple till they were as small as a grain of sand, till my eyes could no longer hold back the tears.

**

I just wanted to say that you are the first to do this to me. To put me through this torture. And I don’t deserve it.

m.eng

waking up

he has left me. i wake up feeling empty inside, the hollowness echoes deep down. i feel my way around, out of bed, my head throbs as i hold on to it. each and every pound feels like it could knock off my head. he has left me, taking everything that belonged to me, to him, to us. i try to move to the bathroom, but i feel like i am under water, every step prolonged with difficulty. i stare into the mirror, a pasty yellowed face stares back. my eyes appear to be sunken in, dark circles round them. i can cry no more, dry and dusty, all tapped out. i try scrubbing my face using all the strength i could summon. the neighbour switches on the radio, strains of 'sad eyes' float in.

i close my eyes and listen to the lyrics of the song. the song that he loves because i have sad eyes. he says that sad eyes never lie, and i, never lied to him before. but he lied to me, he still left me in the end. i feel the anger surge within me, like a wild fire in the dry forest, raging to a state of no control.

i see glimmers of him in my bedroom, dancing with my bear, laughing to the tune of 'dancing queen'. i watch him from the bathroom door, singing at the top of his voice. but the glimmer fades before i can step towards him. i want to break down and cry again, i sit on the bowl, allowing sobs to rack my body. where is he now? will he still remember me?

his scent still lingers in the room. that is one of the things he cannot take away from me, apart from memories. i wonder if i want to think about him, coz each time i do, a sharp pain stabs me. he's the one who is turning the knife inside me, and i'm bleeding. i wonder if i can bled to death, drain of all emotions and all hurt and pain. i'm like a living corpse. i long to be with him again, long to hear his voice resonating in my ears, telling me all about his hopes, his visions, his touch on my skin, his eyes gazing into mine.

the suns shines brightly into my room as i draw back the curtains. a new day, a new beginning, a new life, all without him. the dress is laid out and i pick it up, putting it on, my heart is heavy. i decide against putting on make up, i see no point doing so. he is no longer there to see me, why should i bother. i shouldn't bother to do anything anymore. i have no purpose in my preceding activities. i urgently need to find something or someone else to concentrate on.

so that i don't have to think about why i'm forcing myself to dress up on a day when all i rather do is to hide under covers. or that it is his funeral that i am preparing for.

1454h m.eng

What is Love?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

These are verses from the Bible. It tells what true love really is. The only person who can love perfectly is God. As human beings, we are definitely imperfect. We are naturally selfish. But I am thankful that in my relationship with my boyfriend, we are very clear on one thing. We know full well that our love for each other is flawed, but the great thing is that we are able to love each other with God’s love. Not trying to be preachy here, but really, it’s so true……

Throughout the 7 years we’ve been together, we’ve gone through lots of ups-and-downs. We were young (both 20) when we started going out, we didn’t yet have the stability that is so important in relationships. But through the years, we’ve learnt many things about each other. We’ve learnt how to handle situations.

Now, 7 years later, we’re much older; we’ve sorted out many things, thrashed out lots of differences and as a result, treasure each other more deeply. Of course, I wouldn’t say that things are always rosy, we still have our conflicts, but because of the things we have learnt along the way, we always keep in mind one question: Is our relationship more important than any other selfish thought we may have? The answer is usually “yes”, and so we work towards resolving issues.

I’m very thankful for this fantastic guy in my life. And I believe that we will continue to live our lives together happily ever after. Haha. (But please don’t think that this is a fairy tale world we’re living in……) J

I hope this encourages those who have faced disappointments. Good relationships are possible, but the important thing is that you must first be ready. You must be ready to give, ready to support, ready to work at it, ready to be unselfish, and most importantly, ready to LOVE.

By A Blessed Gal

Love last long

My friend had wanted me to write anything about love and here is something that I would love to share with everyone.

My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago. He was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years back. Sometime I wonder what had gone wrong because people who smoked for years and years lived till very old age but my grandpa quit smoking for almost 50 yrs now yet, he was still diagnosed with lung cancer. Fair? I certainly doubt so. Anyway, life is so fragile, I can't say much.

When my grandpa was still alive, he and my grandma used to have a hobby. They love to take any buses to anywhere in Singapore (well, how big can Singapore be?). They can board the bus from AMK and sit until the next terminal. Along the way, they will just talk or just look at the road. They used to be our live directory. I find that the things that they do together kind of sweet because it is something that both of them enjoy as husband and wife. Of course, life is not always sweet. They have a lot of differences in their character and they argued a lot. Sometime I pity my grandma because she seems to be always the one to keep quiet and let my grandpa continue with his nonsense (It runs in my family where the men showed so much ego that the only thing that the women can do is shut up). Sometime when you see the topic of their argument, you will feel like scolding my grandpa for being so childish.

I only realised the reason for her being mum and be tolerant is because that she loved my grandpa too much. She rather she is the one taking all the bitterness. Only after my grandpa passed away than I realised how important it is to have someone there throughout your old age. Although my grandma missed my grandpa but the only thing that she could do now is to look at past photos, keeping my grandpa memories with her. It hurts to see your only partner left you like that. Eventhough there may be lots of arguments and anger, but that is something that they both do together. Now only left with my grandma alone. It simply hurt. There is a sweet saying that I heard from somewhere that if I love the person, I will let him/her die before me because it is more painful to stay alive alone. I truely understand that saying. My grandma is brave enough to let my grandpa die (she could not do much anyway). She has asked the mighty one out there to give him two more years to enjoy and the wish came true so she has no regret now letting him go.

Actually it make me real sad talking about it. I just wish that everyone of you out there who has a partner right now, treasure the memories that you have with him/her. Be content and just be loving....

By Anoymous